I'm fatman
call the aspca! this is so not cool!
I can't believe he stood me up. Thanks OKcupid!
Sometimes I think he loves that dog more than me. Good boy. So good. Sometimes I think he loves that dog more than me. Sometimes I think he loves that dog more than me.
I SAID, ARE YOU READY TO ROCK!!!!
It's a wonder I lived this long.
This is the best day of my life! Somebody kill me!
Be sure to get Mitten's crotch in the shot. Good idea, Bae! I hope this never goes online!
Forget Gotham. It's national pankcake day at IHOP!
No, I'm not the Flash. I'm the Flesh.
Su-prise!! Jar Jar gonna bees in da new STARs WARS movies!!!
I need friends. Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting co-- MOO!! Haha! That's a good one, Larry!
For the last time, Stop asking me to join LinkedIn!!!
Dijeron: si pestañeas te lo pierdes... y así me quedao!!!
Gosh, hun. Our dog has the best looking taint I've ever seen. Aww, it's sooo cute!
In case of an emergency you can use me as a flotation device.
Knock it off, Luke! Or I'll show you the dark side of the back of my hand.
Got an extra ticket to see bill cosby. Who wants it!
Thanks North Korea! Thanks North Korea! Thanks North Korea! And Seth Rogen!
Spiderman, Spiderman, drinks because he's a broken man!
Dear Jesus, can u hook me up w/ your HBO Go? Missing Game of Thrones.
Halo halo haloooooo
Hello my name is Framboise !!
I'll be happy to advise you on paying your taxes.
I want me pot of gold! I wonder if I can swap him for a normal child?
They killed Tigger! You bastards!!!
Holy moly! I shot a big one! Enough rat for everyone to eat!
This thing is heavy. Can someone deflate it for me?
Das liegt mir am Herzen.....
that moment when your pulling faces with friends
That's right. I get ALL the chicks. Jealous?
I'd like to thank God...I mean The Deflator
My daddy has the best sense of humor.
So What if my ex and her new boyfriend live with me for free? I'm just being nice.
DUH!
You want me to stand in line to get you an Apple Watch? You cray cray.
Nowadays I prefer eating over running.
mamam tuh begini caranya vroh njir.. jatah gw diembat juga!
I'd rather be crucified than poop out more eggs.
Must...stop... watching...cat...videos!