I'll be happy to advise you on paying your taxes.
Be sure to get Mitten's crotch in the shot. Good idea, Bae! I hope this never goes online!
Halo halo haloooooo
Dijeron: si pestañeas te lo pierdes... y así me quedao!!!
So What if my ex and her new boyfriend live with me for free? I'm just being nice.
There you go again. Acting like a damn fool.
You want me to stand in line to get you an Apple Watch? You cray cray.
Got an extra ticket to see bill cosby. Who wants it!
Thanks North Korea! Thanks North Korea! Thanks North Korea! And Seth Rogen!
Fact: Women love playing games. So if you wanna get some buy a board game, dog!
Need HBOGO Account! Must watch Game of thrones!!!
I need friends. Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting co-- MOO!! Haha! That's a good one, Larry!
Dear Jesus, can u hook me up w/ your HBO Go? Missing Game of Thrones.
Do you have a cigarette
I see you.
Hey bitch!
I'd rather be crucified than poop out more eggs.
Must...stop... watching...cat...videos!
Has anyone seen my neck?
I binge watched Daredevil All in one Day! Now I'm depressed :-(
I love Daredevil! Cuz he uses echolocation! Like me!
Pierwszaki, gdzieś zginął mój rekwizyt! Olga!!! Szybko na scenę!!! Za górami i lasami ... Nie! W szkole u pierwszaków. Co oni wyprawiają?
I'm thinking of getting a tattoo on my face. Thoughts?
Si Jesucristo regresó de entre los muertos, probando que es Dios, El está vivo hoy en día. El esta deseando más que ser adorado. El esta deseando ser conocido y entrar en nuestras vidas.
I'd also like to apologies for saying I stormed the beach at Normandy, and was the second Gun Men on the Grassy knoll.
April fools day! I actually worship the devil!
Screw you, kids! I'm keeping all the eggs!
Guess What? I've Been Hired at Fox news!
mmm, bird. mmm, bacon. mmm, bird bacon!
Do you like bitch. I like too.
do not leave me dear
Do you love me??? Yes
I am drunk.. yaay
If Kim Kardashian didn't win a Grammy, U think Kanye would've jumped the stage?
I hope the Spurs don't play my team in the playoffs.
Dear lord, thank you for your greatest creation...Binge watching!